Being old and in need of care does not automatically make a person a saint.
Being old and in need of care does not automatically make a person a saint.Being a parent does not mean your children "owe" you no matter how ugly and uncooperative you may have been all your life.
Also, if your community has an Area Agency on Aging, they will be able to direct you to other resources.
This web site as well as others have chat rooms where you can communicate with others in a similar situation. I keep trying to move out, but who will take care of her?
This is simply not true--there is no such equivalence.
Many people were raised NOT by loving attentive parents but by indifferent, harsh, selfish parents who did a poor job caring for them even as an infant.
Professionals--please give your readers a break and refrain from the "she cared for you when you were a baby" nonsense.
My family and I have cared, willingly, for 3 terminally ill adults and one grandparent who lived past 100 and did this for decades and with love.Any time you feel trapped by caring, stop and take a breath. They say it takes "a village to raise a child." For someone who is old and at the end of life it takes even more. Feeling trapped by caregiving is a very common feeling.I don't know anyone who has quit her/his job with no visible means of support (and without enthusiastic family contributions) who has not created chaos for their family.Loving care comes from willing contributions not manipulation.The reason it takes more is that elders often do not want help except from family.Because it is often a thankless job, we as caregivers need to find ways to appreciate ourselves for the care and compassion we give."First: Her mother made a choice to bring a child into the world.I don't think the granddaughter made a choice to be burdened with the responsibility of financially taking care of Mom and Grandma.I understand that the transitions we make during a given week are difficult for her to handle and are confusing and scary.But I have to get to my house to take care of the chores my husband can't get to while he's trying to work and care for his own 88-year-old mother.