Dating with privileges

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It’s about fear mixed with a sense of entitlement when it comes to women, sex and romance.And it’s costing men potentially rewarding relationships because they simply of men have developed the idea that the world owes them a woman. Sometimes it’s less specific; a man may not think that he’s owed Kat Dennings, to pull a completely-random-and-not-at-all-because-she-won’t-take-my-calls example, but he without some significant accomplishment of their own; they will rant and rage about how it’s unfair that in order to have a beautiful woman they have to be beautiful themselves, richer than dreams of avarice or more talented than a god.People that you’re sexually compatible with are still going to be readily available without having to confirm that you’re both straight.

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One day while I was shopping, I was simultaneously repulsed and amused to find baby onesies that said things like “Ladies Man” and “Lock Up Your Daughters.” Putting aside the obvious gross misogyny, I couldn’t believe how early people jump at the chance to shoehorn their children into heterosexual narratives.

A similar phenomenon occurs whenever baby boys smile at me in the grocery store.

On Monday, I wrote an article about why women might not be writing back on dating sites when the topic of screening came up.

Some women will add qualifiers to their profile – that they’re not there to find dates, only friends, that you should only message her if you meet X, Y and Z or if you’re looking for sex…

If you’re on a dating site – so the implied contract goes – you’re to be willing to consider anyone who stops to email you.

To a woman, saying something along the lines of “I’m interested in meeting as friends, if something more develops, great” means “I want to take things slowly and make sure that the person I meet up with is willing to respect my pace and boundaries.” To a man with entitlement issues, it’s putting up a barrier between herself and any men who might want to get to know her; after all, who is woman I’ve known who has tried online dating has received a variation of “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE ME” when she didn’t respond immediately with a “YES, TAKE ME NOW IN A MANLY FASHION” to his unsolicited email – or worse, didn’t respond at It’s rather startling to watch “You’re really pretty I think we should go on a date” turn on a dime to “Fuck u, ur an ugly ho u crazy bitccccch” when the woman in question didn’t respond in the pre-approved manner quickly enough.It’s come up in dealing with online dating and the different approaches that men and women take with regards to screening out potential undesirables.It’s come up when we’ve talked about using Pick-Up Artist material.Their mothers will say something like “Look at how he’s flirting with you!” Ma’am, your son barely has a grasp of object permanence, so I doubt he knows what a girl is.On the one hand, any man who isn’t in the top 10th percentile of whatever metric you might want to use to gauge male sexual desirability is of it.However, instead of turning their attention inward – dealing with their self-esteem issues, working on improving their lives, accepting that maybe they hold women to impossible standards- they decide to externalize their anger…A common complaint that men have – one that was echoed in the comments on the article – was that this is somehow a violation of the Dating Site Contract.That women who, say, create an OKCupid for the various quizzes and aren’t looking to meet men are somehow Using It Wrong.It’s not win the woman until after he achieves something. For being her “friend” and collecting enough Nice Guy coupons until you can trade them in for sex.Unfortunately, real life isn’t the movies and women in the real world tend to take offense when you assume that they are somehow obligated to give you access to their person, regardless of their wishes.


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