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Our phones and texts and apps might just be bringing us full circle, back to an old-fashioned version of courting that is closer to what my own parents experienced than you might guess.
Where Bozos Are Studs Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket.
Sure, the dating pool seems deep, but once you start sorting people based on age, education, interests, etc., it starts to look really shallow.
Seattle is the smallest big city in the country, a place where everybody seems to know everybody, so don't be surprised if your date turns out to be your roommate's ex's little sister/brother.
Throw in the fact that people now get married later in life than ever before, turning their early 20s into a relentless hunt for more romantic options than previous generations could have ever imagined, and you have a recipe for romance gone haywire.
In the course of our research, I also discovered something surprising: the winding road from the classified section of yore to Tinder has taken an unexpected turn.For better or (much, much) worse, dating in Seattle isn’t like dating in any other city.Seriously, whether it’s the constant single shade of gray or the fact that we’re just too laid-back, there’s no place tougher to find the one…More than two-thirds of Amazon's employees are men, and the company is in the midst of adding tens of thousands of workers in Seattle, which is just one reason why the number of single men per 100 single women in the city has gone from 119 to 130 in the last four years.Here's the good news: Seattle has more breweries than anywhere (even Portland depending on how you add 'em up), and they make a for sweet/low-key date spots, so why not hit a few without leaving the same neighborhood. It's not like you can get MORE depressed than you are already, so who cares if they blow you off?Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?I learned of the phenomenon of “good enough” marriage, a term social anthropologists use to describe marriages that were less about finding the perfect match than a suitable candidate whom the family approved of for the couple to embark on adulthood And along with the sociologist Eric Klinenberg, co-author of my new book, I conducted focus groups with hundreds of people across the country and around the world, grilling participants on the most intimate details of how they look for love and why they’ve had trouble finding it.Eric and I weren’t digging into singledom—we were trying to chip away at the changing state of love.Even a guy at the highest end of attractiveness barely receives the number of messages almost all women get.But that doesn’t mean that men end up standing alone in the corner of the online bar. Take Derek, a regular user of Ok Cupid who lives in New York City.