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As a personal example, I experienced this very dichotomy in a prior relationship as compared to my present union.I was in a long-term relationship with someone for many years who was out to family and some personal friends but not out at work or with other social relationships.
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The most popular model depicting these stages was developed by Vivienne Cass and is called the Cass Model of Sexual Orientation Identity Formation.
For the closeted man, the pressures he begins to feel about being more visible with his relationship status and sexual preference before he’s emotionally ready can grow to resistant proportions and cause both personal and relationship strain with his partner.
Conversely, the out partner often ends up feeling like he’s been thrust back into the closet because he becomes restricted in his ability to live his life freely and authentically due to not wanting or being able to expose his relationship status with his closeted partner in various social contexts.
Deciding whether to date and develop a relationship with someone who is still in the early stages of coming out and is inhibited about his sexual identity (when you yourself are out and proud) is a personal choice only you can make.
Closeted men can make great boyfriends because they oftentimes have a newfound excitement and enthusiasm about love, being so new to gay culture.