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They frequently complain and envy and resent those more fortunate. Their denial, shame, and lack of responsibility cause them to play the victim and blame others.
They always have an excuse, but it’s their own self-destructive behaviors that cause them problems.
While fearing domination, they’re dependent, nonassertive, indecisive, and unsure of themselves.
It’s another form of rebellion, so they delay and delay with endless excuses.
They don’t follow through on responsibilities, promises, or agreements.
As you might expect, negotiating agreements, such as in a divorce or child visitation plan, is exasperating.
In addition to procrastinating, they avoid being pinned down.Their unconscious anger gets transferred onto you, and you become frustrated and furious.Your fury is theirs, while they may calmly ask, “Why are you getting so angry? Passive-aggressive partners are generally codependent, and like codependents, suffer from shame and low self-esteem.When they finally do what you ask, you likely have to redo it.If they make a repair, it might not last or you’ll have to clean the mess they made.Passive-aggressive people act passive, but express aggression covertly.They’re basically obstructionist, and try to block whatever it is you want.If they’re unemployed, they drag their feet looking for work. However, their behavior tells the truth, which is usually NO.You may do more job-searching on their behalf than they do. When you try to decide on where or when to go on vacation, pick out an apartment, or make plans, they find fault with each suggestion and won’t offer any of their own. This way they retain control and blame you for being controlling.They don’t leave, but withdraw or withhold intimacy instead.An autonomous person has healthy self-esteem, is assertive, and can take a stand and keep commitments. Their behavior is designed to avoid responsibility for themselves and family, and sometimes they depend unfairly on their partner for support.